and you said cock pushups were impossible
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
