Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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