Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
