I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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