Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
