Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
