u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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