I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I had to cum in my sink.
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