So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize