So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
