What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
third nipple confirmed
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
