So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
