Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
