you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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