Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
