I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
