So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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