Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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