I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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