just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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