I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
