I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Come on in and take your pants off
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