Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
