do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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