i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
