Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
