Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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