the new term for farting is butt boxing.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
