Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
