I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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