ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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