you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
