bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
of course. lets lasso hookers.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
