doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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