North Korea, Best Korea!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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