Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
