I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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