if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
This girl is more easily done than said...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
