It's Friday. Sex?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
