omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
