There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
