Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dicks are not precious.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
