dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
