you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
