if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
