And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
