you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
