We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
