HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I want to fling myself into the sun
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
