Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
