a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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