How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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