Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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