Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
