if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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