I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
